Obsessing on My Obsessions

I kind of hate the expression “When it rains, it pours.” I hate it because, duh. When it’s raining (like, literally raining), Mother Nature is way more likely to just dump on us than she is to give us a nice light sprinkle.

But lately I’ve felt as though that stupidly annoying phrase is way more applicable to my own life than I’d like to admit. Except for the whole idea that the normal use is overwhelmingly negative. The very fact that people say it implies that they would actually like the raining to stop, and soon, please. The thing is though, I couldn’t feel more the opposite. Maybe it’s just because I’m mildly crazy and get obsessive about everything, but when I get in the groove of something, I never want to stop. Once I’m in, I’m all in, baby.

Cooking or baking? Heck yeah, I totally need to make those five things in a week when I can actually consume maybe one of them before they all go bad.

Writing? I’ll sit down to write one thing and get overwhelmed with ideas. I’ve got drafts for five or six posts in various states of completion, just waiting to be published. I think two of them are even 100% written and edited, I just haven’t posted them yet for some reason.

Reading? God, this is the worst. Once I start a book that really grabs my attention, you could literally put money on the fact that, sometime in the very near future, I will be awake until 2am finishing that sucker. This is especially bad, since getting lost in a good book (even one I’ve read five times already *cough Harry Potter cough*) is by far my favorite way to spend a day.

It’s as though once something gets good, I don’t want to stop it out of fear it may not be as good as I remember once I start again. But here’s the thing–I’m learning to really like this all-in way of living. I’m trying to let go of the insecurities that come along with second guessing my obsessions. If something’s good, why do I pressure myself so hard to stop doing it? Why does my inner monologue consist solely of berating myself for not diversifying my daily routine?

Since I can’t ever seem to answer with anything other than “Because someone else made me feel bad about it,” I think it’s time to stop asking those questions in the first place.

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