Tag Archives: inspiration

Reflections on a Resolution

In true New Year’s fashion, the Internet is exploding right now with posts about resolutions, new beginnings, and fresh starts. People are swearing up and down that 2013? It’s going to be their year. This is the time it’s finally going to stick.

Sorry kids, but from most of you, I’m just not buying it.

Sure, maybe this is the year some people will actually carry through on what they promised themselves on January 1. Maybe they really will lose those last few pounds or be kinder to strangers or actually commit to having less stress in their lives. But my money’s on March rolling around and people having forgotten all about their resolutions.

Not to say that those who resolve to better themselves in the new year don’t have the best intentions at heart. Obviously they want to make significant changes in their lives, for themselves and for others. They want to make a difference, and the very first day of a brand new year is the perfect time to proclaim to the world exactly how they’re going to make that happen.

But instead of playing that game, I’ll doing myself one better. On top of that set of resolutions, I’m making myself a list of goals.

I know. Sounds like kind of a cop-out, huh? “Goals and resolutions–kind of the same thing, dummy.” No way. Not in my book. Goals are measurable. Goals have an end date where you look back and decide if you pass or if you fail. A point where something should have been accomplished, and if it wasn’t, you have to stop and think hard about why.

Why didn’t I follow through on what I said I was going to achieve? Why did I fall short? What happened that made me decide my goal was no longer important enough to deserve my time? Is it important enough to try again?

The goals I’m setting for myself are big and major and life-changing. I have a lot of work to do. I”m going to make it happen ASAP. Thankfully, I’m a crazy A-type that loves checking things off a list.

So where is that list, you may ask? If I can talk such a big game, why not throw it up here for everyone to see? Why not let the world wide web judge me when the time comes?

Because public shaming isn’t the way I have to get my own attention. (Plus, the fact that maybe four people read these posts doesn’t exactly equal the massive peer pressure I’d need to make a real difference.) No, my motivation has to come from within. That list is getting written on a piece of paper in giant font. It’s getting posted on the bathroom mirror, on my dresser drawer, on the front door of my apartment. Anywhere it is going to stare me in the face, everyday, asking me why I haven’t made a change. Why I haven’t done the things I promised myself I would do.

The goals may be off the table, but the resolutions? Here you go. The list of things I actively resolve to do in the next 365 days. Intangible, but still very very real, and all about making me into a better person:

In 2013, I resolve to not rely on others to do my dirty work for me. I resolve to not be so hard on myself. I resolve to stop being ruled by technology. I resolve to not be so resistant to change. I resolve to stop letting my fears dictate how I live my life. I resolve to never not do something important just because it may be hard.

In 2013, I resolve to live my life with intention. I resolve to respect the life and the love that is given to me. I resolve to be honest and open with the way I feel. I resolve to never take no for an answer when it comes to what I truly believe. I resolve to never take people for granted. I resolve to stop hiding behind what has happened in the past and face up to the future I’ve envisioned (and the hard work it’s going to take to get there). I resolve to never stop fighting for the ones that I love.

This year, I want to dance more. Love more. Kiss more. Cry less. Give more of myself without asking for more in return. Write more letters. Take more pictures. Bake more cookies. Pet more puppies.

But most importantly, I’m going to do the things I know will make me happy.

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Monday Inspiration

Some days require more reminding than others.

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On Finding My Purpose

I am immensely envious of the people who know exactly where they want their lives to go. I’ve worked with and known a large number of people who are exactly like that. It’s as if they woke up one morning and the sun was shining through the window, illuminating a little map–here’s what you’re supposed to do! This is what you’re good at, how you’re supposed to make a living! Now go get it done!!

I hate you people.

Although I really don’t. Don’t be mad at me, because I didn’t mean it, I swear. I know you’ve probably worked crazy hard to get where you are. Questioned yourself a million times before figuring it out. There probably wasn’t actually a map. (Probably.) I get it. But once you’ve found that thing you love to do, everyone can tell. It radiates off of you. And God does that make me jealous.

Currently, I am an editor at a healthcare marketing company. People send me the things they’ve written, and I do my best to fix it for them. As my mom says, I just like to tell people exactly how they went wrong and hope I can get someone to pay me for it. It’s kind of a socially acceptable form of being bossy. But who knows? Maybe I’ll eventually figure out that’s what I’m supposed to be doing, but it sure doesn’t feel like it right now. Right now I feel…stuck.

I’ve heard it said that your true calling lies where the things you are good at intersect with the things you are truly passionate about. Well, I have yet to find that common ground.

Things I’m good at include listening to people’s problems, reading books, baking way more cookies than I can possibly eat, and making craft projects–as long as they include very strict directions for me to follow. I’m not quite as good if I have to use my imagination. (These things do not include dancing, killing bugs, keeping my apartment clean, networking, or parallel parking.)

I am truly passionate about my friends and family, the St. Louis Cardinals, Harry Potter, coaching and playing volleyball, and writing. (I am not at all passionate about drinking beer, playing mini-golf, or going to the dentist.)

So where does that leave me? Well right now, it’s left me looking around thinking, “What’s next?”

Where am I meant to go from here? I don’t knowww. I don’t know what I’m doing and, quite frankly, it’s making me whiny.

Oh! That’s another thing we can add to the list of what I’m good at. I bet you I could get at least four people to write me a letter of recommendation about how good I am at being whiny. Although I’d probably have to whine at them before they’d actually do it…

But this not knowing thing–it really is making me crazy. I need to do some serious thinking about how I’d like it all to go. Figure out how to turn into one of those people who just gets it. Just knows where their life is headed and how they’re going to get there.

I’m sorry. I know I’ve kinda written about this before. Is it some sort of unspoken rule of blogging that you aren’t allowed to complain about something, not really do anything to try and make it better, and then complain about it again?

God, I hope not. Because I want to keep writing about it. I want to keep forcing myself to think about the words in hopes that something will strike a chord and fall into place. (Plus I already like this post a lot better than that one.)

I want a life that challenges me. Pushes me beyond what I ever thought I could do and makes me a better person. I want to have the chance to put a spin on this world that is characteristically mine. And figuring out what my thing is…that’s my first step to making that happen.

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Where do you find inspiration?

Some days I just feel weird. Like I need something…more to figure out why I’m doing the things I do. Some days I just need to look at something pretty. Or delicious. Or adorable.

Today was one of those days.  All day long, I just couldn’t get in a groove. It felt like something was missing, and I wasn’t sure how to fix it.

So tonight, I went to the pool. I started a new book. I’m watching the Olympics (no surprise there). I wasted some time on Pinterest and tried sketching out a new craft project I’ve got in the works.

It helped. Kind of. I guess some days you just stay in a funk.

Now I’m looking at you, Internet. Help a girl out over here. Give me your links, your pictures, your Google search terms. What cures your blah days?

For the record, there are plenty of things I am not inspired by. They include:

Trashy reality TV. Local car commercials.  Stand-up comedians. Tiny yipping dogs.

(Really I just want someone else to watch that commercial. I don’t understand why they keep airing it. It’s awful.)